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Saturday, 30 January 2016

@Phil Script to Screen Script Draft 1

Looking back over my first draft of the script , I`m confident over the layout,however, I`m unsure about the script being dialogue heavy and I`m wondering if there should be less dialogue between the property developer and the detective. I`m also unsure about the opening few lines because they seem out of place now I`m looking back over the script.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sarah,

    Yes - it's not too much dialogue - but rather the dialogue is a bit wordy. I think you can get rid of the first scene, and just begin at the point that the detective arrives on the scene - we can learn about the case as the detective talks to the developer. I think you should take another look at the scenes in Psycho between Norman and Arbogast, because while your story is 'spoken' as opposed to hinging on action scenes, I think the cutting between the two characters, and the tension created, could make things very arresting indeed. In terms of the dialogue, try and get a bit more back and forth - make it a bit choppier and 'staccato', to ramp up the tension.