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Saturday, 16 January 2016

@Phil Refined Story Idea

Since getting feedback from my classmates I really liked the idea of the victim getting buried within the cement ,so, I`ve been researching into it.
My idea is that the detective is either a cat or a dog and they get called to the demolition site because of a missing tool. The tool was taken by a magpie and up into the cement mixer where it`s built it`s nest ,however, there`s a time limit until the tool trapped inside will be lost forever.
The possibilities I was thinking of for the time limit are :

1.The time limit is where the tool is at the bottom of the nest and risks being suffocated when the babies are hatched. 
2. The obstacles in the way are other birds trying to obstruct the private detective from jumping up into the cement mixer. 
3. The nest is only a temporary home and the time limit is until the demolition site worker returns to put more cement in which risks the tool trapped inside 'drowning'. 

The ending I`m unsure whether to go for a happy ending or a sad ending.
Since if the ending is happy then the tool gets freed and is washed off and everything is happy.However, I had another idea where if the tool is to badly damaged or stuck then even if the tool is free the tool would be replaced and would be left to watch either stuck in the cement mixer or thrown away .

1 comment:

  1. Hmm - I think it's going to be a hard ask to get your audience to worry about the fate of a lost 'tool'. You'll find it hard to create a sense of peril or connection.

    When I look at your 3 components I'm reminded of a short story by Roald Dahl about a woman who kills her husband. A policeman comes around to interview her about his disappearance, and it's during the interview that the woman serves the policeman a dinner of roast lamb. The twist is that the murder weapon with which the wife killed her husband was the frozen leg of lamb that the policeman has just eaten.

    I say this, because there's something in some of your previous ideas that is glimmering with potential; the idea of the cement mixer being used to dispose of a murder victim. I've sort of got this final shot in my head of the private detective standing on some part of a building, while the camera pans down to show that there's a body buried deep beneath his feet in the concrete - the body is quite literally under his feet.

    Structurally, maybe your narrative starts at the end - perhaps the demolition of a building is the act that reveals the body buried in cement, and then the rest of story explains how the body got there; so a sort of flashback structure...