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Wednesday, 20 January 2016

From Script to Screen : OGR Online Greenlight Review


  1. OGR 21/01/2016

    Hi Sarah,

    We're nearly there with this - and your premise above is one step closer. Everything has to get a little simpler.

    Okay - remember this set-up from Pixar's UP:

    Imagine the scene - there's a single house left standing - and all around it everything else has been demolished. A crane with a wrecking ball awaits beside the last house. A property developer is being interviewed by a private detective outside of the house; through out the scene, a cement mixer is in plain sight. It turns out the young woman you used to live in the last remaining house has gone missing under mysterious circumstances. Apparently she refused to sell to the property developer, thus holding up the construction of the brand new luxury casino and hotel that is due to go on the site instead. Somehow we're shown plans of the luxury development - an artist's impression of the site. It's all very brash, and at the front of the hotel there is a drawing of a fountain; the fountain has as its centre piece a sculpture of a female. The private detective is sure the property developer has had something to do with the girl's disappearance. By now the property developer is leaning on the cement mixer. There's no proof. The property developer tells the private detective to get off his land etc. "I know she's here somewhere!" says the detective. In the last closing shots, we see a number of things happen at once. We see the wrecking ball level the remaining house, and then as the camera continues to track out from the scene, we see a crane lowering a the statue of the woman into place onto the base of the fountain. Slowly the camera moves towards the female statue - and as we get closer to it, we suddenly understand what the private detective will never guess - the whereabouts of the missing woman! The developer has had her encased in concrete!

    Okay - so that's more of a short story than a screenplay - but you were so close to this already, I reckon you should develop it for the screen - what do you think?

    1. Sorry for the delay for the reply Phil

      I think that`s a great idea :D I didn`t realise my story was close to the scene in UP until you said something,but, I think that`s a good idea to develop that version for the big screen.